Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
