It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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