As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
