so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
