I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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