Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
