Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
