Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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