Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
