And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There r osticjed everywhere
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
COCAINE IS GR8
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
