We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you had me at cake vodka
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
