well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize