yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
