I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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