I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
