It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
