My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
