Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
