oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and she was petting her beer can
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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