next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
