BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
