Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
