i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
