He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
