bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
