what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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