And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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