I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
