Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
