Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
