my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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