just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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