sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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