He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
