It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
