well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
