So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
