you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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