I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
