If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
