and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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