don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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