i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
