Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize