After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Still dying that you shit outside
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
