Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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