i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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