wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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