doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
