lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
