talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
