Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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