last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize