I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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