They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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