PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
