The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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