I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've blown a few things in my day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
