can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
zippers are such a cool invention
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You may now shotgun with the bride
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
