PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
